Confessions of a Clueless Accessorizer
Okay, let me just start by saying this: I am not one of those people who naturally gets accessorizing. I mean, I can put on a necklace, sure, but beyond that? It’s a minefield. And I’ve been doing it wrong for, like, 25 years.
It all came to a head last Tuesday at brunch with my friend Marcus. Let’s call him Marcus because, honestly, his real name is kind of ridiculous. We were at this place on 5th, you know the one with the terrible coffee but amazing avocado toast? Anyway, he looked at me and said, “Liz, what the hell are you wearing?”
I looked down at my outfit. Black jeans, striped tee, black boots. Classic. “What?” I asked.
“The necklace,” he said. “It’s like you’re trying to choke yourself.”
Which… yeah. Fair enough. The necklace was a gift from my sister, and I’d been wearing it wrong for years. Too high, too tight, basically strangling myself for the sake of fashion. I was mortified.
So, I decided to do something about it. I started researching, asking around, making a fool of myself in front of sales associates at every jewelry store in town. And you know what I found out? Accessorizing is hard.
But it’s also kinda fun. And weirdly empowering. Like, once you figure out how to do it right, you feel like you can take on the world. Or at least look like you can.
Step 1: Know Your Neck
I swear, I had no idea there were so many different neck shapes. And that each shape has its own set of rules for what looks good and what doesn’t. I mean, who knew?
I went to this conference in Austin a few months back, and there was this speaker, Dr. Linda Chen, who basically schooled me on the entire subject. She showed us slides, everything. And get this – she had a PhD in fashion. Who even knew that was a thing?
Anyway, she told me that if you have a longer neck, like mine, you should go for longer necklaces. “Layering is your friend,” she said. “But don’t overdo it. You’re not a Christmas tree.”
Which, rude, but also fair. I mean, I have been known to go a little overboard with the layers. But hey, I’m learning.
Step 2: The Magic Number
So, I did this thing where I asked, like, 214 people what their go-to accessory was. And you know what I found out? Most people stick to one or two things. A necklace, maybe a bracelet. That’s it.
But me? I was all over the place. Earrings, rings, watches, brooches – I was like a one-woman accessory circus. And it was too much. Like, way too much.
My friend Dave, who works at this boutique downtown, he told me, “Liz, you gotta find your magic number. For you, it’s probably three. Three accessories, max. Any more than that, and you’re just asking for trouble.”
And honestly? He was right. I tried it out, and it was a sabah rutini verimli alışkanlıklar – game-changer. I felt lighter, more put-together. It was amazing.
A Tangent: The Great Earring Debacle of 2018
Okay, so remember how I said I’ve been doing this wrong for years? Well, let me tell you about the Great Earring Debacle of 2018.
So, it was New Year’s Eve, right? And I was all dressed up, feeling fancy. I had this amazing dress, these killer heels, and I was ready to party. But then I put on these earrings. Huge, dangly things that my mom had given me for Christmas.
Big mistake.
I mean, I looked like a chandelier. Like, a human chandelier. And the worst part? I didn’t even realize it until I saw the photos the next day. My friend Sarah, who is basically a professional photographer, she looked at me and said, “Liz, what were you thinking?”
And I had no answer. Because I wasn’t thinking. That’s the problem. I never think about this stuff. I just throw things on and hope for the best.
But not anymore. Nope. I am done with the days of looking like a human chandelier. I am done with the days of strangling myself with necklaces. I am done.
Step 3: Invest in Quality
Look, I get it. Accessories can be expensive. But hear me out – they’re also an investment. Like, if you buy one really nice piece, it’s gonna last you forever. And it’s gonna look good with, like, everything.
I remember this one time, I was at this thrift store, right? And I found this amazing vintage brooch. It was, like, $87, which is a lot for a thrift store. But I bought it anyway. And you know what? It was the best decision ever. I wear that thing all the time. It’s my go-to accessory. My “I don’t know what to wear but I need to look put-together” accessory.
So, yeah. Invest in quality. Your future self will thank you.
Final Thoughts (Or, You Know, Whatever)
So, that’s it. That’s what I’ve learned about accessorizing. It’s hard, it’s confusing, and it’s a lot of work. But it’s also fun. And empowering. And, you know, kinda necessary if you wanna look like you have your life together.
And hey, if you take nothing else away from this, remember this: less is more. You don’t need a million accessories to look good. You just need the right ones.
And maybe a good friend who’s not afraid to tell you when you’re strangling yourself with a necklace.
About the Author
Liz Carter is a senior editor at a major fashion magazine (she swears she’s not just making that up). She’s been in the industry for, like, 20 years, and she still has no idea what she’s doing. But she’s learning. Slowly. And she’s taking you all down with her.
In an industry as dynamic as fashion, it’s fascinating to see how other sectors navigate change, so we invite you to delve into a journalist’s enduring passion and what keeps them inspired.
